Final edit

Film poster - Final version

Here is my final film poster:

Film review - final version

Here is my proposed final film review.

(Click to see in proportion) 

Since my post 'Film Review Comparison' I have implemented the changes that I suggested:

- Moved the title down and thinned the spacing
- Made the line framing the information box thinner
- The first line of the body of the review bold
- Added a page number, the number I have chosen is 52
- Added a comment above the smaller image continuing with the comic theme of the comments in existing reviews
- I made the text that forms the actual review smaller
- Addition of the reviewer name at the end of the review in a bold font

It was my aim to create a review that wouldn't look out of place in an issue of Empire magazine and these changes have definitely improved the  quality of the overall look. I am happy with my final layout, I feel it looks professional and really similar to those featured in Empire magazine.

The music has been recorded!

Today I sat down with Arabella and she played me what she had written so far of the music. I had my laptop with my final edit of One Fine Coffee Break playing in front of us.

I was really impressed with what she had written, it sounded great. With a bit of tinkering it was there. We removed some of the lower notes to ensure it was cheery in tone. I can't really describe it further as I don't have the lexical capacity to do so. Instead, I will just play what we recorded. This first part is just piano:

I wanted some guitar in there as well. This was tricky as I don't play particularly well. It's only two chords but I can't switch between them. So I enlisted the help of a friend to play this part. It will be during the spinning scene, here is what it sounds like:

This, is the soundtrack to my film. I need to place it over the visuals and make sure it fits. theoretically it should as Arabella was watching it as she played.

(More or less) Finished edit - there's still time

Here is my film with the editing changes made. Note there is still no soundtrack and no voice over but these will be added.

I have implemented certain changes in accordance with my audience feedback, there are as follows:

Chronological scenes

The scenes are now in chronological order as if the male character was imagining a whole day rather that individual scenarios. I think this makes much more sense and it was something several people were really keen on this whereas other people didn't mind. No one thought it would be a terrible thing to do. Keeping this in mind it makes sense to me to change the order.  

Sped up car

Unfortunately I haven't been able to re-film this scene. This is due to several reasons:
The weather hasn't been the same at any time I could film so the action of the spinning into the car shot wouldn't look continuous. Availability of both the actor Jacob and the car along with someone who can drive the car has been tricky. I haven't had access to all three at once at a suitable time, even though it wouldn't take too long to do.
For these reasons I have had to make-do with the original footage. I have sped it up as much as possible with out it skipping any frames. For comedic effect having the car faster is more appropriate (if being hit by a car is ever appropriate) as the slow motion leaves time for the audience to react in horror.

Scene removal

I have removed the duck scene as it was ranked lowest by my audience. It really was a weak scene so I have no real problem about taking it out. Removing it serves the purpose of shortening the duration of my short film. 

Scene shortening 

During the dinner scene I removed the medium shot of the couple removing the chips from the bucket and emptying them on their plates. This shot had no other purpose than for continuity but I have since learned that you don't need to show every piece of action, the audience can assume what happened and the scene will still make sense. That shot was quite long and boring, so I removed it to shorten the duration and keep the scene interesting. 

After adding the music and voice over my short film will be done!

Film review comparison

To check how similar my review really is to on of Empire Magazine I took my review and the one I am imitating next to each other. From this I could see some subtle differences. I should be able to easily change these to ensure my review wouldn't look out of place in this publication.

The review I am basing my own on. 

The differences I noticed about the two. 

• Title spacing. The three lines of the title are a bit wider apart on my review and this whole section needs to move downwards so the comment is just above the information box.

• Line thickness. The yellow line of the left of the page is noticeably thicker on my review. A really minor difference but the fact I noticed it tells me that it is different enough to impact the look of the review. 

• Bold text. In every review I have looked at the first line is in bold font. I don't know why this is but this appears to be a convention. This won't take long at all for me to change, like most of these changes, but it may affect the spacing within the text box.

• Page number. I had overlooked this, perhaps because my review isn't part of a full length magazine  But if I want to make it more realistic this is something I should add. 

• Comment. I had missed of the comment on the left hand side. This isn't essential but I want to stick as closely to the original as possible. I'm not sure what to write here though, maybe something about character representation. 

• Text size. The text in my review is larger than that in the real reviews. It doesn't make that much of a difference on screen but when I printed the page off and placed it physically next to a real one the difference was clear. I will try with the text smaller to see if this improves it. However, if the text is smaller it may no longer span over the page so I might need to write a little bit more. 

• Reviewer name. I forgot to but the name of the reviewer at the end! I can't really put my name on it as it's already in the review as the director. I will need to ask about the guidelines but I think I just need to make up a name, or perhaps create an alias. 

You could argue that these really small differences don't really matter. Well, they matter to me and I think they matter due to the overall look of the review. My aim is: I want to be able to print this out and place it in the pages of Empire and for it not to look out of place. Most of these changes should be fairly simple and quick to implement and I still have a few days before the deadline so I can change them quite comfortably. 

Film review development

Since my post 'Film review - Let's start this thing' I have finished constructing my film review. Here it is:

What have I added?

I have added in the quotation block at the bottom of the page. The yellow text on the blue background is coherent of my chosen colour scheme; the quote is from within the review itself and is complimentary  reflecting the general tone of the review. I like having a colour scheme throughout as it gives a professional and planned look to the article. If I were producing more reviews for the same publication the colour scheme would be the same for all the reviews. I have stuck to the structure and colour scheme of the review for The Hunger Games (Ross, 2012) in Empire Magazine that I analysed in an earlier post. 

The 'verdict' box at the bottom right has been added since my last post. It gives a short, concise opinion on the film. This is designed so anyone who just wants to quickly know about the film without reading the review can get a general idea about it. Again, it is a convention of most film reviews hence I have included it. At the end of this is a star rating. I have 'awarded' my film 3 stars. This is a really hard thing to do for your own film, opinions are altered by the production process. After crafting the film for hours I don't look at it in the same way a reviewer would. In the end I chose three stars for my film. 

Another structural/graphological feature added is the black bar at the bottom of the page as well as the three dotted lines above and below the 'verdict'. These features frame the page and make it again, look more professional. 

I also, as you may have noticed, finished writing the actual review. I don't think I have altered the draft from my post "Writing the review" much, apart from adding to it. It was roughly the right size for the page so I only had to delete the odd word or replace words with contractions (such as changing "she is" to "she's"). The addition of contractions not only lowers the character count but makes the tone of the text more colloquial and less formal. I was anxious to make the text not to formal to match the tone I observed in existing reviews. 

Even further film poster development

I have (roughly) decided on the final layout of my film poster and added some more features to it. Here it is:

The background of coffee beans didn't look right at all so I promptly removed it. I then moved the photo of Jacob to the side of the poster. This placement makes the poster, I feel, more interesting to look at. Having the picture at the side also leaves a fair bit of empty space where I have placed reviews (well, comments) from established sources, Total Film Magazine and Empire Magazine. The previous layout made any further text placement tricky as it just made the poster look clutered.
The new picture placement also makes the billing block stand out more. Before some of the text blended into the shirt and also made it kind of look like he had a beard at first glance. Other than the reviews text placement is still the same as my previous versions.


Old and new picture placement in regards to the billing block


The reviews are written in a generic font. I am reluctant to use Kenyan Coffee (The font 'A Sam Mortimer Film' is written in) as originally I only wanted 'Coffee' written in this as it is similar to the font used by mega coffee chain Starbucks. At the minute I think I have the right balance of that font so I don't want to add any more of it. The other font, Dandilion in the spring (One Fine, Break and the tagline are written in this) looks really informal. I will ask my peers to get some opinions from on each style. The name of the reviewers is presented as their respective logos rather than in an extra font. This enables the audience to identify the logo quickly and recognise that the review is from a credible source. It works rather well as both of the logos are red, a common colour in my poster.

So other than changing the layout my poster is relitively unchanged. I think it's nearly there. Once I have decided which font to write the reviews in it should be done.

Writing the review

I have been working on writing my review as part of the ancillary task. It's really quite strange to write a review on something I have produced. Of course as I have been producing my short film for so long it is hard not to point out and discuss every little thing that I notice about it. It's also worth noting that, as a normal review isn't written by anyone affiliated with the film, that it wouldn't typically include any of the thought processes behind the film. But it will include the authors take on the film, and they may comment on possible thought processes or messages they conclude from it.

Another thing to consider is audience. Although the reader is likely to take a key interest in film their skills and knowledge of production may be limited. So there's no point in talking about theory's (for example, Todorovs narrative theory, or in-depth continuity techniques) as only the minority of the audience will know what the review is talking about.

Keeping in mind what I noticed about the language use in the existing reviews I analysed earlier in the project here is what I have written so far:
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Set primarily in a quite coffee shop, daydreamer (Jacob Barrell) aims to spend some time with his favourite novel, but his plans are disrupted by the presence of a beautiful, mysterious woman (Olivia Lewis). The fantasist admires her from afar, deducing that she is his perfect woman. He escapes to his imagination exploring the perfect relationship this ideal woman could present him with. Classic romantic situations are cleverly morphed with often hilarious results. A sweet story of what could be if only he would muster up the courage to talk to her.

(More about narrative, perhaps one scene in particular)

Barrells cheeky demeanour creates a character that is hard not to love. He falls effortlessly into the role and has fabulous on-screen chemistry with his romantic interest, played by Lewis. Audiences will undoubtedly recognise one or two scenes as spoofs from famous romantic comedies, including Love Actually (Richard Curtis, 2003). However each part of his dream isn't quite perfect. This is part of Director Samantha Mortimer’s realistic style, commenting on the frivolity of the nature of relationships featured in almost every rom-com. Ever.  

 

In Mortimer’s directing début she has taken a bold move to comment so greatly on such an established and widely-loved genre. It is in no contention that she has a long way to go before matching the greats, she is no Speilberg by a long shot. .... (Downfalls of the film)

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It isn't yet finished it will probably take several revisions before I am happy with it. I know I need to revise the structure so it complies with conventional reviews. I also feel I need to add in more figurative language and maybe comparisons. It's really hard to get the balance between being complimentary and critical right. This is made more difficult by the fact that I made the film. I don't mind, I could happily rip it to shreds (in a literary sense) but that isn't the aim. It will take some careful planning but hopefully, with time, I will get it right.