Peer assessment feedback

After making some of the suggested changes to my film today I received some peer feedback. Two members of my Media Studies class watched my film them commented 3 key areas:

• Cinematography 
• Mis-en-scene
• Editing

They would also have commented on sound but my current edit doesn't have any. I will re-record and add in the audio when the visuals are finalised. 

Here are the comments my film received and my responses:

Cinematography

Strengths

"So many good shots, particularly like the bit on the sofa which pans across the two of them"

"I really like the shots of the couple spinning around."

Suggested changes

"Add an extreme close up when he sees her eating the chicken" - I don't think an extreme close up is needed here as his emotions aren't very complex. Plus, his head movement adds to the disgust he is conveying.  

"Camera shakes when he looks at the coffee" - The camera does shake a bit here, but as this is a point of view shot it reflects the head movement of the character. 

Mise-en-scene

Strengths

"Hard to get a spoof right but you did it well by using all the typical conventions."

"The paper sign with '£6 for a taxi' is really good."

"The candles you put on the table creates a romantic atmosphere"

Suggested changes

"You could darken the lighting (a little bit) when they are watching a horror film" - I was conscious of making sure the shot was light enough to make sure everything was visible. I will try making it a little bit darker, still so it is visible but low-key enough so it adds more to the tone. 

Editing

Strengths

"It is clear that it is his imagination when he looks up and it fades to white"

"Good editing throughout by reversing between characters"

"The quick pace editing at the park is very effective, it portrays his 'clumsiness'"

"The pace at the station is quite slow, which builds up the anticipation"

Suggested changes

"Have the car crash slower or faster" - This is something I've spent a lot of time thinking about. I think faster is definitely better as it doesn't give the audience time to dwell on what happens. So, I won't have it in slow motion, I will speed it up as much as possible.
"At the station you could make her reactions quicker" - I like the pace it is at, and this comment contradicts the 'strengths' comment. I could shorten the shots where possible but it's not a necessity. 

I also asked them which scene could be removed:

"The wii scene could be removed" - Although I appreciate the opinion, I won't be removing this scene. It appears naturally funny and contributes well to the sequence. 

"You could shorten the shot of her eating popcorn" - Possible, but the action is quite long itself. I will need to try this out if I decide to implement it. 

"You may not need the shot of her picking up the cup on the dinner table, cut straight to her spilling the drink" - I think this shot is definitely needed as it links the stop motion back to the action again. 

This was a really useful exercise. It has not only given me some more things to focus on to tidy up my film, it has boosted my confidence a bit. Along with this it has given me extra guidance on issues I was deliberating over, such as which scene to remove/how to cut down the time. 

More first edit feedback...nearly

In one of my previous posts I said that I had conducted some more audience research. Well, I wasn't lying. I asked four members of my target audience some questions about my short film and filmed their responses. Unfortunately I currently don't have access the the footage.

Windows movie maker doesn't accept .mov files.
I did not know this, I know now. 

 But, anyhow, here are the questions and my reasons for asking them.

The questions were:

 1.       What do you think? 
I wanted to see what they initially thought straight after seeing the film. This would give me an idea if I  was asking the right people (my target audience). (And I understand that my target audience isn't "people who like my film" but it just ensures that the feedback is relevant.)

 2.       Which was your favourite scene?
As my film consist of several scenarios I was interested to see which was best received. This also gives me an indication of which to definitely not remove from the film. 

3.       The film is currently too long, which scene/scenes do you think I should take out?
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I need to decide which scene/s to remove to make sure the film doesn't exceed the 5 minute time limit. What better way to help me decide by asking my audience? This way I won't make the mistake of removing a key scene.

4.       Would it make more sense to have the clips in chronological order?
This was pointed out to me in my feedback and I hadn't considered it. It makes real sense to me as placing the scenes chronologically makes it appear as if the male character is imagining the perfect day rather than a series of random scenes. However, when sequencing the scenes I did so in this way so the interior and exterior scenes were interlaced with each other to make it more interesting and varied for the audience. So which I choose to do will heavily depend on this audience feedback.

 5.       When the male gets hit by the car, is it ok in slow motion or do you think it would be funnier if he got hit at full speed?
This has been a major cause for concern for me. I have flitted between believing it is good in slow motion to terrible at that speed. I need to get as many opinions as possible on this to help me make this decision. 

6.       Any other comments?
If there was anything I hadn't thought about or realised this was a way for me to ask my audience. It will be interesting to see what they say.


The footage will be on this blog soon, just think of it as me building suspense.

First edit feedback

I have received some feedback on my first edit. This is really helpful as it may bring to my attention features, inconsistencies and general points to improve that I myself may not have noticed. I was generally please with the feedback. It may seem like a lot of points to change but they are minor changes in editing and a lot in the sound production that should improve the quality of my film.

Positive comments:

"some really impressive shot compositions, such as when Jacob falls and looses his glasses."
"I like the placement and font of the title"
"Well edited"

And then there were some points for improvement. 

(If you click on the pictures they appear larger and easier to read)

I will start to implement these changes today. I have also conducted and filmed some research from my target audience that you can look forward to seeing in the future.

The First Edit

Here is the first edit of One Fine Coffee Break.

There are several things that I know I need to change:

Scenes

As I explained I have included all of my filmed scenes. Now my short film is too long as it currently falls at 6 minutes long. To make it fit within the time limit I need to remove one or two of the dream scenes. In order to determine which ones I will conduct some audience research. It will depend on which ones the audience thinks are funnier or simply which the audience prefers. 

Editing

If the removal of the dream scenes doesn't trim the duration enough I can trim some of the shots within the scenes. For example the dinner date scene is really long, I could take out some of the shots that establish what they are doing to speed up the pace of the scene. 

The car crash

I have yet to decide if I am going to re-film the car crash. I still think it looks good in slow motion. Again, I will ask my target audience what they think.

Music

The music on this edit is temporary so I need to get the real music from my composer and work with her to  tailor it to the film. 

Sound

The ambience in the coffee shop is very jumpy. I need to record some ambience sound to relay over the visuals. This should be easy enough, I just need to visit a coffee shop at a time that its not too busy so the ambience fits the visuals. When filming So Bar wasn't very busy, so the sound needs to match that.

Voice over
Jacobs dialogue is a bit quiet. I need to re-record it with a proper microphone. Also, if re-recorded I can do so with Jacob watching the film as he does it. This will ensure that the inner monologue fits the visuals perfectly.

Next week I will conduct my audience research. I will also start making the changes that I have outlined to my short film