More animatic feedback

I have received some more feedback on my animatic. It has given me some interesting ideas to think about. Here are some of the suggested improvements and what I plan to do about them.

-          Lines – Does he need to say “She’s reading Lord Of The Rings, like me!”…This can be done through visuals. Trust that the audience will get it.

This is a good point, am I making it too obvious? I am definitely guilty of assuming the audience won’t pick up on things. I like this line as the tone of voice shows just how eager and excited Jacob's character is. I will leave it in the animatic but bear in mind whilst editing. It is convenient, as I don’t have to worry about dialogue too much whilst filming, as it is all non-diegetic.

-          Breaking the fourth wall – Perhaps Jacob could address the camera at the start

Having Jacob look at the camera as an aside is a good idea and fits with the comedy conventions, however I am not sure I like it. This technique is really hard to get right, most times I have seen it in practice I have hated it . However that is not to say it can never be effective. I am not convinced of it. It might just cheapen my film (which I definitely don’t want.). I will film it and decide whether to include it in the film during editing.

                                                      An example of this technique at 0:12

-          Editing scenes – You cut back to Jacob holding the ‘I need it for a taxi’ sign. This is the second time we have seen this shot and I wonder if it should simply cut to the ‘and possibly a Twix’ shot.

This is another draw back of the animatic: you can’t easily show too much of the action in one shot.  The point is that he is removing the first sign saying ‘I need it for a taxi’ revealing the Twix sign underneath. I feel this is an important process to show as it helps with the continuity of the scene. With out I fear it may look disjointed. However, I will film it both ways as I won’t really know what looks best until I see it. 

Animatic peer assessment

Two other students in my Media Studies class sat down and watched through my animatic. They gave me some feedback and some targets I could consider to improve my film.
They commented of seven key areas:

• Cinematography
• Appropriate pace and content
• Character representation 
• Targeting the audience
• Dialogue
• Music/sound effects
• Editing

Cinematography
Positives
+ Panning is frequently used, this is effective
+ Shots are typical of a romantic film

Targets
- Add more high and low angles - This is a fair comment, I haven't included many high or low angles shots. However I think there is a difference between using this type of shot for effect and using them for the sake of it. I may include some to keep the film interesting for the viewer.


Appropriate pace and content
Positives
+The music and the editing link together very well
+ The cards when he is asking for money are very effective
+ The pace is a good speed, the slower pace adds to the humour

Targets
None given


Character representations
Positives
+ Both reading books to signify they are intelligent and interested in similar things

Targets
- The only problem is I thought the girls was a man, however this will be clearer - It can be hard to convey things in an animatic due to questionable drawing skills. I can assure you she isn't a man an this will be clearer in the film.
- More shots of the girls reaction at the end - This is a good idea I hadn't considered. Maybe she could look at the main character when she is talking to the second man and as "Can I help you?" in an annoyed manner. He could then stutter before he swiftly leaves. However this adds a rather sad tone to the end of the film which I was trying to avoid.


Targeting the audience
Positives
+ The Lord of the Rings book, dialogue and the characters would attract the target audience
+ I think it uses the right conventions

Targets
None given


Dialouge
Positives
+ Minimal so it makes the audience focus on the action

Targets
- Add more dialogue maybe at the cinema scene - I agree that dialogue here may be useful in helping the audience understand his feelings and how scared he is. But equally I think this may come down to the animatic again. In the real film it will be very apparent from the actors actions and demeanour how he feels.
- Maybe a little cheeky at some points but I guess that is the genre - Even though put as a target I take this as a positive! I like how the main character comes across as a little cheeky. The point is that no one would say these things out loud but are thoughts that are realistic.


Music/Sound effects
Positives
+The change of music indicates the change of mood

Targets
- A little repetitive - I completely agree. However time constraints and talent constraints on my part limited what I was able to produce for the animatic. The final music for the short film will be along the same lines but more intricate.
- Could be limited instead of having different sorts of music as it may appear disjointed. - Again I agree. I will aim for the music to flow more naturally.


Editing
Positives
+ Editing is not fast paced but medium to allow the target audience to understand what is happening. 

Targets
- Vary the length of shots to add some variety. - I both agree and disagree with this comment. The shot lengths are varied. I have one scene that is one continuous shot and currently lasts around 10 seconds. In contrast I have the quick cuts at the start. But I can understand during some of the longer scenes this may be an area for me to consider.

I found this exercise really helpful. Not only has it given me some ideas to think about in how to improve my film it has given a me a boost of confidence about this project.

Finished animatic

I composed my audio for my animatic on the program Garage Band. My final music will be composed at a later date. I will enlist the help of my very talented musical friend to ensure the audio matches and compliments the film. The music will be vital for my film as a sizeable chunk (the day dream sequence) contains no dialogue at all. I will use the music to help covey the light hearted tone and emotion involved with the scene.

Here is my finished animatic with audio.

Producing the animatic

Now I have finished the story board I can produce the animatic. I have taken photographs of each shot then uploaded them into iMovie. After going through each clip, changing the duration and any camera movement I needed to add the voice over. The main character is the only character with dialogue in my film so this was straight forward. I got my leading actor, Jacob, to say his lines as I recorded them on Garage Band. After importing the voice over onto iMovie I had to trim each clip and place it over the correct shots.

Trimming audio in iMovie. 

I still need to add music to my animatic before it is finished. It will be a rough idea of what I wan't the music to be as it isn't finished yet and won't be until after filming.

My animatic is in the process of it's creation.