More animatic feedback

I have received some more feedback on my animatic. It has given me some interesting ideas to think about. Here are some of the suggested improvements and what I plan to do about them.

-          Lines – Does he need to say “She’s reading Lord Of The Rings, like me!”…This can be done through visuals. Trust that the audience will get it.

This is a good point, am I making it too obvious? I am definitely guilty of assuming the audience won’t pick up on things. I like this line as the tone of voice shows just how eager and excited Jacob's character is. I will leave it in the animatic but bear in mind whilst editing. It is convenient, as I don’t have to worry about dialogue too much whilst filming, as it is all non-diegetic.

-          Breaking the fourth wall – Perhaps Jacob could address the camera at the start

Having Jacob look at the camera as an aside is a good idea and fits with the comedy conventions, however I am not sure I like it. This technique is really hard to get right, most times I have seen it in practice I have hated it . However that is not to say it can never be effective. I am not convinced of it. It might just cheapen my film (which I definitely don’t want.). I will film it and decide whether to include it in the film during editing.

                                                      An example of this technique at 0:12

-          Editing scenes – You cut back to Jacob holding the ‘I need it for a taxi’ sign. This is the second time we have seen this shot and I wonder if it should simply cut to the ‘and possibly a Twix’ shot.

This is another draw back of the animatic: you can’t easily show too much of the action in one shot.  The point is that he is removing the first sign saying ‘I need it for a taxi’ revealing the Twix sign underneath. I feel this is an important process to show as it helps with the continuity of the scene. With out I fear it may look disjointed. However, I will film it both ways as I won’t really know what looks best until I see it.